Big Sister H
The much awaited birth of Christian has come and gone (thank goodness!). I enjoy being pregnant, as I've mentioned before. And all of my children have come "late". It doesn't bother me. It "bothers" a lot of OB's, which is one reason I decided to use a mid-wife for children following Cameron. However, despite enjoying pregnancy and knowing that life was just going to be that much harder once the baby was born, I was getting anxious to have this baby, mostly because of the comments everyone feels the needs to make (I'd already stopped going to church because of them).
Labor and Delivery:
Because I was 41 weeks, I had to have a non-stress test and ultrasound on Monday. Things looked good there. I knew once I went through the inconvenience and frustration of doing that, the baby would come. I had been having contractions for about a week, but nothing regular or strong. Monday night I woke up around 3am with some pretty good contractions, but they went away fairly quickly and by the time Chuck left for work, they were back to irregular and weak. So, we went about our day. I took the kids to story time, play with clay class and to lunch. By this time the contractions started to get stronger and more regular and my water broke around 1pm or so. I didn't have Chuck come home, but by the time he got home and we had dinner, the contractions were getting strong enough I was having to focus through them, but they were pretty far apart. Knowing I'd have to get to the hospital sooner rather than later (since my water broke and I was GBS+), Charity come over to stay with the kids. I wanted to stay at home for a while, but I also didn't want to get to the hospital too late to not get two doses of anti-biotics. So, we left about 10pm. In triage, they confirmed my water had broken and I was dilated to a 4-5. As I was being monitored, the contractions were getting stronger and I was annoyed they were still making me lay there on my left side longer than 30 minutes. We were moved to labor and delivery and my IV was started. My mid-wife was not on call, but the one who was, was very supportive of my birth plan. I did not want to be checked and was told that I'd know things were getting close as I felt more pressure, contractions were stonger etc. At this point, I was still in control of my breathing and felt like I could relax. But I was feeling more pressure, so I decided to be checked. That was at 5am, and I was only dilated to a 6-7. This was not good news to me! I felt like I was handling things well, but I was so upset that I had dilated so little in 6+ hours. At that point, I lost it! I was so upset. The mid-wife was trying to be encouraging saying things like it's not a linear progression, one contraction could go a long way etc. We tried laying on my side to help the baby move down, but by this point, I was too uncomfortable to be on my side. (I had been laboring mostly in a chair. I felt my contractions in my legs/hip creases. So, I found it helped to lean back a little with my feet on the floor and have Chuck press down on my legs.) So, I moved back to the chair, but my contractions were so bad and close together that I couldn't relax, I couldn't control my breathing etc. At some point, my mid-wife, who wanted to be there for the delivery, came in. I had a really bad contraction followed immediately by another one, at which point, I said (probably more of a yell), "I don't know what is happening, but something has got to come out!" So, I scurried over to the bed, Anita hurried to put on her gloves and gown and there was his head. I pushed several times and screamed a lot (so much for a peaceful entry into the world) and Christian was born.
Natural Labor:
I have wanted to do a natural labor with all my children. With Cameron, my water broke and I didn't go into labor, so I had pitocin, still didn't dilate, wanted to kill myself, so I had the epidural. With H, my water broke, I went into labor, but eventually just gave up and had the epidural. So, knowing this was likely my last baby, I made up my mind I was going to do it (of course knowing you have to keep an open mind). Intellectually, natural child birth makes total sense to me. And I had talked to many people who have had natural births and loved it. But me...I would not do it again. I'm really glad I did, because I would have really been disappointed in myself had I not, but my expectations were not met. I was NOT disappointed in how painful it was, but one thing that turned me onto a natural labor was the thought of being able to feel more in control. Which I did not. I felt like although, I could feel what was going on and tell my body how to react to it, my body didn't react to it they way I asked it to. I was also disappointed in the way I felt immediately after Christian was born. I had expectations that after he was born, the pain would be gone and I'd have this huge "high". I had felt such a high when my other babies were place on my chest, but this time I did not. I was still in so much pain, had to deliver the placenta, get stitched etc. I also had expectations that I would feel so much better the day and days following his birth. I felt horrible that day and although better the next, still not good. I feel like that was the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me.
A note on Chuck:
Chuck was great during labor. He was pretty quiet. I would get an occasional "you're doing great" or "you can do this". I think he was mostly afraid of saying the wrong thing. I never did ask for the drugs though, and since his job was to keep me from getting them, I made it pretty easy for him. He would sneak food while I was in the bathroom, even though I told him it was fine if he ate. And although he denies it, he would dose off between contractions. He didn't say anything until today, but he said during my last big contraction with his hands on my legs, he felt my uterus go from basketball to football. That must have been when I yelled, "something has got to come out."
Life At home:
I've felt pretty good today, other than the typical soreness and pain that goes along with nursing. Christian is a great nurser and is even nursing well off the right side, which C and H did not like. C and H are great with Christian. They hug him and kiss him, want to hold him, give him stuffed animals etc. He did not want to be put down to sleep Wed or Thurs night, so we are hoping for better tonight.
okay, so this is not the best picture of Chuck
she may be frustrating, but she is adorable!
I love that ponytail!
