Royalty Family: Marriage is Hard?

Friday, April 30, 2010

Marriage is Hard?

Okay, so I hear this all the time. Marriage is hard. Marriage is so hard. You really have to work at marriage. etc etc etc. I don't get it. I've never thought being married is hard. And we've had some pretty significant challenges in the course of our 7+ years. I'm not sure what people mean when they say marriage is hard. What makes it hard? This is why I think my marriage is NOT "hard": we are soulmates, we support each other 100%, we let the other person know when something is bothering us (this is more me than Chuck), we don't let things bother us (this is Chuck more than me), we spend time together and time alone, I spend time without my kids, we have the same goals, we don't thrive on contention or confrontation, we share household and child responsibilities, and we are on the same page financially.

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The funny things they say and do

9/15
I was not home one evening and while Chuck was reading to Christian, he said, "If mom were home, she'd let me go to bed already." It was not even his normal bed time yet.

6/15

Chuck had gone away on a work trip for 4 nights. The kids love to sleep with me, so I let each kid sleep with me one night. On the last night, Christian asked if he could sleep with me and I told him no. We had just had dinner and he had a fortune from a cookie that said "Be assertive and you will WIN!" He asked what assertive meant and I told him. And he said, "Yes, I can go after the bed." It was tempting, but I did not let him sleep with me.

5/15

Cameron says, "I love going to the dentist. It is so refreshing."

12/14

As we were driving past a car dealership, Cameron said: "I guess when I buy a car I need to buy it at one of those big sale events."

12/14

Hannah wrote a Christmas card to Chuck that read, "Dear Dad, you are my only dad and will always be my only dad."

8/14

Cameron: "Mom, the parents of the kids at school are buying their clothes like 2 sizes too big."

Me: "What do you mean?"

C: "Their clothes are like 2 sizes too big."

Me: "You mean their pants hang down?"

C: "Yes."

Me: "Are they black?"

C: "No."

Me: "I don't mean their clothes. The kids. Are they black?"

C: "Yes."

Me: "It's just their style Cameron."

C: "Well, it looks ridiculous."

Me: "Yes it does. But don't let them hear you say that."

8/14

H asked if when the neighbor boy is older if he would go to church. I said I didn't know. But that most people who don't go to church growing up, don't go when the are older. And she said, "My kids are going to go to church because I want them to be smart about Jesus."

4/14

On the way home from CA, Hannah asks what kind of animal that lives in AZ would we chose to attack our car.

4/14

Christian howls like a coyote when he needs me to come help him clean up after using the bathroom.

1/14

Cameron was sick but the other kids wanted to go outside to play. I thought it would be good for C to get some fresh air, so he was sitting outside when one of our neighbors rode by on his bike and asked Cameron how he was. Cameron's response was, "terrible". I started to laugh and he said, "I was just being honest. Everyone always just expects you to say good."

1/14

After the kids were in bed and as I was straightening up, I could hear the boys in their room. Cameron had finished his nightly reading and was saying a prayer with Christian.

1/14

As we were leaving for church, Hannah asked why none of our neighbors go to church. I did mention some at the end of the block who do and they are Catholic and then a couple a few doors done who are Jewish. She said, "What is Jewish?" I said, it is a religion that does not believe that Jesus Christ is the Savior. I went on to explain that before the birth of Christ, many were Jewish but after He came, many of those believed Christ was the Savior and they became Christians. And that the Jews were still waiting for a Savior to come. And she said, "But they already have a Savior. Why doesn't someone tell them that?"

9/13

Christian, "Just pretend that never happened."

7/13

Charity took Christian to the dollar store and let him pick something out. He picked out a bag of lollipops. After having 3 that day, I told him he could not have another one. He started throwing a fit and would not stop asking for one. I said if he asked for one one more time, I would throw them away. He asked and so I threw them away. Thus causing a bigger fit. I had had it, so I locked myself in my room. After a few minutes, a note in an envelope was pushed under the door that said, "Mom open from Christian". Inside was a note that said, "I am sorry" with a picture. Cameron obviously helped with the note. I, of course, had to come out of my room after that. And when I did, H gave me a note that said, "I am sore for ben men. I love you so mosh." She was also being a brat at the time.

7/13

Christian was carrying some pumpkin bread to our neighbors when he took a bite out of it. Chuck say this and reacted a little too strongly, so Christian of course, started to cry. But Chuck did apologize and we got the neighbors a loaf without a bite taken out.

7/13

Christian is being potty trained. He has no problem peeing in the toilet, but we are still working on the poop. He just won't sit on the toilet. He insists I put a pull up on. He will poop in it and put his underwear back on. I could tell he needed to poop several times in the day and encouraged him to sit on the potty. He wouldn't do it and we were out and about, so I didn't have a pull up. Finally, I convinced him to sit on the potty, but the poop wouldn't come out. And little C says, "Come out poop. If you don't come out, I will call you mean poop. Mean poop!"

Another time, he ran into the closet and I said I was going to put the toilet in the closet if he was going to poop in the closet. He says, "You can't put the toilet in the closet. You can pick it up to put it in the closet." I said, "I'll put the little potty in there." He says, "If you put the potty in the closet, you aren't part of the family." I said, "I helped to make this family. I'll always be part of this family." And he says, "You didn't make this family, Jesus did."

7/13

I get home after the kids are in bed and I hear lots of noise in the boys room. But before I go in to see what is going on, I just listed. And I heard C reading to lil C very dynamically. After the book is over, I hear C tell lil C that it is prayer time and he proceeds to say a prayer.

6/13

Christian says to me, "If you don't get me some water, I am going to die."

6/13

Hannah comes to me and very seriously asks, "Mom, do you really have a sweet tooth?"

6/13

Christian wanted me to read him a specific book, so I told him to read the book he had while I want to find the other one and he said, "I can't read this book. I can only read Spanish."

6/13

H wanted to read before going to bed, so I gave her a couple books. A few minutes later, she hollers for me and says, "Mom, I can't read this book. The words are too hard. I have only read one page and I am already sweating."

5/13

Chuck was getting ready to take the kids backpacking and he told Christian he would have to hike and he said, "Dad, if you want me to hike, I will hike. Unless, my legs get tired and then I won't."

5/13

Christian shares a room with Cameron and is still sleeping, by his choice, in his crib. He likes to play in his crib before going to sleep, but Cameron is ready to go to sleep before him. So, one night I gave Christian a head lamp and told him to take it off and turn it off before going to bed. When I went to check on him. He had turned off the lamp, placed it by him and lined his cars up and placed them under a blanket at the end of his bed.

5/13

Christian loves Luna Bars. Chocolate Peppermint Stick to be exact. He would live on them if I let him. I eat them about every morning for something quick to grab before my work out, so they are always in the house and he knows this. Plus, he is my daytime buddy, so he is usually with me when I buy them. When we bought a whole box, he insisted they were his. He wanted one for breakfast and I said they weren't a good breakfast. But he said, "They are my bars and I am in charge of them." I let him have one and when he was done he asked for another. I said he could only have one a day. And he said, "But I want another one because they are so yummy."

3/13

I took dinner to a friend who just had a baby that underwent major heart surgery a week after birth. She was in a diaper and you could see the incision on her chest. I told Christian that they had to cut her chest open to fix her heart. After we left, he said, "Mom, since I'm not a baby anymore, can we have another and cut her open so she can be like that baby?"

3/13

I tell Christian all the time that I love it when he plays by himself. The other day, he says, "Mom, do you love me when I play."

3/13

I was putting Christian's shoes on and I said, "Are these shoes fitting okay, you are growing so fast and getting so big." He said, "Mom, I know you want me to stay small, but I getting to be a big boy."

2/13

We were driving past a cemetery and Cameron asked,"Where will we plant Daddy when he is dead?"

2/13

Hannah wants to change her name to Emma. When I said you already have a sister named Emma, she said, "When she is here you can call me Violet." She has made name tags for herself, tells people her name is Emma and signs her name Emma.

2/13

Charity was over watching Hannah and Christian when Hannah asked Charity to help her with homework. As it turns out it was Cameron's homework and on one of the pages she signed the name line with "Emma Cameron's sister."

1/13

On the way home from school, H says, "A long time ago, when we were still living with Jesus, there was this man named Martin. The white people sat at the front of the bus and the black people sat in the back of the bus. People were doing bad things and Martin got on the microphone and changed that." Since we had just had Martin Luther King Jr Day. It didn't take me long to figure out that was what she was talking about.

1/13

While going to get his hair cut, Christian said, "Mom are they going to cut it all off and I won't be Christian anymore?"

12/12

We were in Cincinatti and Chuck's brother's house and H was sharing a bed with little C. During the night she started yelling "my leg is stuck". As it turned out little C was sleeping on it.

12/12

Again while we were in Cininatti, Emma was sleeping and H wanted to wake her up. Lily said, "But she might be mad at us if we wake her up." H said, "She wont' be mad, sister's don't get mad at each other."

12/12

As Charity and H were putting up a nativity scene on the window, she asked H what the wisemen did and H says, "They built their house upon the rocks."

11/12

Little C was very curious about my earings. He said when he was bigger and a mommy he was going to have earings too. I said, "but your a boy and you'll be a daddy." And he said, "but I want to be like you."

11/12

C (age 7.5) cut a little chunk of hair out his head of hair. I found the little chunk on the floor in my room and asked everyone about it. Everyone denied they were the one that cut the hair. It wasn't until 2 days later that I noticed a little chunk missing from C's hair.

10/12

I tell Christian to meet me in my room and he says, "I need to stay with you, I don't want to get lost."

10/12

The kids really wanted me to take them to a Halloween store, but I told them no because it would be too scary. First, I need to preface this with...Cameron is freaked out by aliens. He saw a couple minutes of a documentary about aliens back in June and it has stayed with him. So, every night since then (and I mean every), he has prayed that no aliens or UFO's will take us or take anything away from us. H tells me, "I won't be scared because I know it's all fake." C says, "I'm not afraid anything." I said, "Then why do you pray every night that the aliens won't come get you." He says, "Oh yeah, that's the only thing I'm afraid of." I said, "Why? They aren't real." And he said very confidently, "You don't know that."

10/12

Chuck had helped someone moved. This always makes him very appreciative of me. So, he came home and said, "I love you, I love you, I love you." H heard this, starts to cry and says, "Why didn't he say that to me? Does he hate me?"

8/12

It's tradition for Chuck to take the kids to Einstein's for bagels on Th morning. On the way to the car, they pass racks that have real estate brochures on them. So, they always bring me one. And they are so excited to give them to me. H hands me one this morning and says. "This is for you to find a new house that you, me and daddy can live in so we don't have to live with Cameron and Christian."

8/12

Each time I come home, the kids run around and yell, "Mommy's home. Mommy's home."

8/12

It was picture day and I was trying to not only convice H to wear something that matched, but a more appropriate shirt for pictures. I was begging! I even pulled out the "How much do you love me?" She said, "More than my clothes, but I still want to wear this." I did manage to convince her to change, but she instisted on wearing a headband.

8/12

Whenever I am leaving, Christian will say "I want to kiss you." And he will give me the sweetest kiss and hug.

8/12

I went to pick up little C from the child care at the Y. He looked at me and said, "Go away mom. I don't like you. Go exercise."

7/12

I went to wake H up and she looks up at me with one eye open. I said, "H are you ready for your adventure? (they were going on their backpack trip) and she said, "No, because I only have one eye open."

7/12

Sometimes I give the kids a treat and I tell them to close their eyes. Either so they can't see where I've hidden the treat or because I want to surprise them. So, one day Christian says to me, "I close my eyes." It took me a minute, but I figured our he wanted me to give him a treat.

6/12

While on Maui, C was keeping a journal of the things we did. We had gone to the Grand Wailea. So, as we were discussing what we did that day, I told C he could write that we went to the Grand Wailea where his dad and I were married. And he says, "That has nothing to do with me." I said, "Of course it does. If we hadn't gotten married, you wouldn't be here." And he says, "Yes, I would. Lots of people only have moms."

6/12

The sentences Christian most often uses:

Can you help me?

Mom, play with me.
It's not working.

It's broken.

Want to sit on your lap.

Please please play with me.

and my favorite words...wa-ee (water); moy (more)

You're mean.

Take a nap with me.

4/12

Christian is talking up a storm! He repeats everything anyone says. And he loves to pray. He always wants to say the prayer and if it is not his turn, he just repeats whoever is praying.

4/12

Christian can climb in and out of his crib. C and H were already in a bed before they could even climb out of the crib. The funny thing, is Christian doesn't climb out. One night he did climb out after he was put down and one time at nap, he climbed out. He occasionally will climb out after naps or in the morning, but usually he just calls for us to get him. When I put him down for a nap, he will usually call out several times "Can I get out now?" But yet, even though he can on his own, he doesn't and I love it!

4/12

Our boys share a room and have been for some time now. At first, we would put Christian to be and have C go in later. But now, we put them to bed at the same time and C will read to Christian before they turn out the lights.

3/12

C was upset about something (not unusual for him), so he decided to run away. He opened the front door and ran out without even putting his shoes on. My plan was to let him go, knowing he wouldn't go far. But before I could get the door closed, Christian ran out after C. Christian did take the time to put on his shoes and as he ran after C, he was saying, "Cameron, come back!". I went after him and brought him inside. I couple moments later, C came in asking me if I wanted him to run away. Of course I said no, but if that's what he felt like he needed to do to deal with his emotions, to go ahead.

3/12

After school, we had to leave the park because C had to poop. He was on his bike, so I told him to ride ahead but not kick and scream if anyone tried to grab him. He said, "I already know that. I learned that from Danger Rangers." He took off and H yells, "Kick them in the peanuts". (that's what it sound like when she says penis). I said, "where did you hear that from?" She said, "From my heart."

3/12

on the way to pre-school, this was the conversation from the back seat...

Hannah: Santa didn't get me what I wanted for Christmas. I wanted a baby that moves by herself.

Laurel: Well, did you write a letter to Santa?

H: Yes, but he didn't listen to my letter.

L: Well, Santa is not real anyway.

H: Yes he is. I went swimming with him.

L: That is just some guy in a suit. My mom told me Santa it not real.

I was never asked one way or the other, so I kept my mouth shut.

2/12

Christian acting like a robot.

2/12

Cameron was upset about something/nothing and Christian was so concerned about him. He went up to him and gave him a hug and a kiss.

1/12

Christian's knock knock joke:

knock, knock

moo!

it really goes: knock, knock

who's there

interrupting cow

interrupting cow - MOO!

1/12
Christian took a baby to church with a pink bag containing a bottle. He sat down, held the baby, pulled out the bottle, fed the baby and then gave her a kiss.

1/12
I was telling H I was disappointed in something she did and she said, "but do you still love me?"

12/11
One night H got me up during the night and said she wanted to sleep with me. I asked her why and she said because she loved me so much. The next night she got me up atain and said she wanted to sleep with me. I asked her why and she said because she had a bad dream. Neither night did I let her sleep with me. What a mean mom I am!

11/11
Each night before bed, we say a family prayer. Christian is put to bed right after tha prayer. One night I said it was time for the prayer and he said, "No pray. No pray. No pray." I guess he didn't want to go to bed. The next night, he tried unfolding everyone's arms as we prayed.

10/11
H was asking if I could unbutton her dress. I was busy doing something and wanted her to realize that I wasn't going to drop everything to unbutton her dress right then, so I wasn't answering her. And she says, "the questions are just going to get harder!" Chuck says this when he is sick of his questions not getting answered.

10/11
H was being very disobedient as we were walking home from school and I was losing my patience with her. So, she told me I had to go to time out because I was being rude to her. So, when we got home, I went to time out. She came into my roon and said, "You can come out of your room to put this movie on for me. Then go back to your room and take a time out nap or something."

9/11
As we were walking home from school, C asked for the garage door opener so he could go ahead of us and go to the bathroom. When H heard the request, she took the garage door opener and after asking her nicely several times to give it to me, I grabbed it from her hands. And she said. You just grabbed that from my hands. Jesus doesn't want you to grab things from someone's hands." Of course, I replied with the "oh yeah, well Jesus wants you to listen to your mom!"

8/11
H has been cracking me up lately...here are a few of the funny things she has said and done..

-She wanted to watch Lady and the Trampoline.
-After a bath, her hair was tangly and she said we should have used some air conditioner.
-A feather came out of the pillow and was poking C. H said maybe a chicken got into our house and left a feather.
-I was taking a shower and she was yelling and whining at me. I could hear exactly what she was saying, so I asked her to come closer or to wait. That made her yell and whine more, so I yelled at her that I could not hear her etc. When I got out of the shower, she was crying because I "yellded" at her and she said I needed to go to time out.

8/11
Christain is such a caring boy. While H was in time out and crying, little C brought her her blanket.

8/11
I thought Christian had fallen asleep in the car, but he was just pretending. When I got out of the car and said, "oh you fell asleep", he flashed me a big smile.

5/11
I give the kids stickers when they do something good. And at the end of the month, they get 10 cents for each sticker. Well, both of the kids were in time out. C was screaming at the top of his lungs and H was happily playing (they just go to their room for time out). Later that night, I was giving out stickers and H said, "Do I get a sticker for being so good in time out?"

2/11
I was quizzing H on the parts of her body and what they did. When I asked what her nose did, she said, "Run."

11/10
Cameron seriously threw a fit because the Earth does not have two moons.

8/10
For some reason H did not put her underwear back on after she went to the bathroom, but she did put her pants on. Chuck took her to Costco for dinner and shopping and all the while she sang, "I'm not wearing any underwear."

5/10
Hannah's mantras:

"You're not my best friend anymore!"

"I don't want to pee in my unner-wear." (underwear)

5/10
Hannah always wants me to help her go to the bathroom even though she needs no help. And we always have to "start at the line". The beginning of the hallway. Then she says, "ready, set, bo (go)." And we race to the bathroom.

5/10
C has always had quite the bed time routine. He has to have certain things in bed with him. Right now it is his bunny blanket, his huge fire truck blanket, two of my t-shirts, the books we read before bed, multiple animals, and water. And before I shut the door he says, "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite. If they do, hit them with your shoe. Put a shoe by your bed just in case. And think about the old days and the new days. No bad dreams. I love you".